


Best Laid Plans

by Arceanedes



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: Angst and Humor, Canon Universe, F/F, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, No Smut, Post-Canon, Useless Lesbians, of course she did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-17
Updated: 2021-02-17
Packaged: 2021-03-12 02:21:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29502639
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arceanedes/pseuds/Arceanedes
Summary: Adora has led a pretty sheltered life. While the rest of the Horde was living wild, she was under the constant scrutiny of Shadow Weaver, expected to act correctly at all times. Now she has the love of her life in her bed, and she's pretty sure there are some expectations there.What she needs is a plan.
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 10
Kudos: 119





	Best Laid Plans

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Annacharlier](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Annacharlier/gifts).



It was the third morning after Adora ended the war, and Catra didn’t know what to do.

At first she thought they would simply leave, take off and “bring magic back to the universe” or whatever, but of course it wasn't going to be that easy. Adora—She-Ra—had fixed a lot of things in the last moments of the war, but even she couldn't fix everything.

So Glimmer postponed their road trip to the stars. There was too much to do right now, she said. _I’m sorry._

Catra hated it when Glimmer apologized. She didn’t deserve an apology, not from Glimmer, not from anyone.

So they stayed at Bright Moon. She was actually living at Bright Moon. She had Adora again. She was sleeping in Adora’s bed again, not at the foot of her bed but actually in Adora's bed, with Adora. She should be happy. She _would_ be happy, if the guards would just stop acting like she was going to attack them at any moment.

Melog uncurled from her lap and shifted into their larger form. The big cat—well, currently cat shaped Kryton—stared at her sternly. _That’s not what’s bothering you._

Catra looked away from the cat’s soft eyes and stared out across the Whispering Woods. It hadn’t taken Catra long to find a path from her balcony to this rooftop perch. A place where she could be alone. Safe.

_You’re not alone._

“Will you stop reading my mind?” She snapped.

Melog hunched their shoulders and lowered their head, looking confused. Melog didn’t read her mind. Melog read her heart, and Melog was right. As much as Catra felt her usual feelings of guilt and self hatred and anger… that wasn’t what was bothering her, not really. What was bothering her was a lot more straightforward. What was bothering her was that she had Adora in bed with her every night… and she didn’t have the faintest idea what to do with her.

“So what do I do?” She asked.

_Talk to Adora._

“It’s so… embarrassing! Besides… Adora knows even less than I do.”

More confusion. _Talk to Bow?_

“This is not a Bow problem, okay? I would die. I would die of embarrassment.”

_Talk to…_

“There’s no one I can talk to, okay? No one can help me! I'll just... figure it out.”

But that wasn’t true, was it? There _was_ someone she could talk to, if she could work up the courage. Two someones. Melog mewed smugly and shrank back down to lap size, purring. Nothing made her stupid cat happier than making her admit things to herself. It was so annoying.

* * *

When Adora got back from training, Catra was gone, just like she had been the day before.

The first morning after the war, when Adora had gotten back from her morning training, Catra was still in bed. Adora had been stripping for a bath when she looked up and saw Catra... staring at her. Staring like she had never seen her before, which was ridiculous, because Catra had bunked with Adora (and Lonnie, Kyle, and Rojelio) her entire life and had seen all of them naked practically every day. Even if Catra didn’t shower with them—or at all—she still changed her clothes and took her meticulous cat baths. Modesty was not a Horde virtue. There wasn’t space for it. Adora knew what Catra looked like in just her fur, and Catra knew her.

But Adora had felt suddenly vulnerable under that stare, had wanted to… hide, or fight, or most of all get back into bed and… and what? She didn’t know, not exactly, and that was the problem. She didn’t know exactly what she wanted to do with Catra, and Adora hated not knowing exactly what she wanted to do. So she had gotten in the tub and Catra had turned her back and pretended to go back to sleep, and that was that. Every morning since, Adora had come back to an empty room.

The first night, Catra had fallen asleep under the stars, curled up on Adora, purring quietly. Adora had picked her up and carried her here, to her room, because they had always slept together and it felt right. She had slept without nightmares for the first time in weeks. It was bliss having her Catra back, hearing that soft purr, having that extra weight and warmth near her.

The second night the tears came. Catra clung to Adora desperately. _I’m so sorry, Adora. I’m so sorry._ Every defense that Catra had came down in a rush and Adora hadn’t been able to do anything but hold her, reassure her that she was loved, had always been loved. That she hadn’t gone so far that Adora would never forgive her.

Adora was sorry, too, and finally had the time to tell Catra how much it hurt to fight her, how desperately she had missed her. How much she blamed herself for not being able to bring Catra out of the anger and misery that imprisoned her, which even Catra knew hadn’t been Adora’s fault. There were tears, and kisses, tentative and soft, not like that first kiss but why would they be? They weren’t about to die. Everything didn’t have to be put into one moment.

More crying, more talking, more kisses. They had so much to say. They had hurt each other so much. They had stared at each other in the light of Etheria’s moons, Adora drowning in Catra’s beautiful mismatched eyes, yellow and blue and perfect. Catra was a part of her that had gone missing.

Last night had been different. Frustrating. Catra had slipped under the covers of the small bed and curled up next to her, nuzzling her neck. A tiny flutter of a kiss against her neck and suddenly she was on fire. She _wanted_ , wanted so badly that it actually physically hurt. She wanted to devour this woman. Her kisses became almost violent, reckless, and the smaller woman simply melted in her arms in a surrender so complete and so completely unlike Catra that Adora simply lost her balance.

What followed was, for lack of a better word, awkward. It started to feel too fast and it was unfamiliar and, well, Catra started laughing. Adora got mad and that just made Catra laugh harder.

“Oh, Adora,” Catra had said finally. “You’re such a beautiful, wonderful, _idiot_.”

And that was that.

And Catra was gone again this morning. Adora wanted her there, staring at Adora with that same expression. She wanted to… abruptly, Adora turned around, pulling her shirt back on. She’d clean up later. Right now she needed to hit more things, run more miles, lift more weights, maybe transform into She-Ra and punch a mountain down or something. Anything. Anything to quiet this fire that she didn’t understand and didn’t know how to quench.

* * *

Bow was at the archery range as Adora passed. He saw her and started jogging over. “Adora!” 

“Hi Bow.”

“You here to get in some more punching? I saw you earlier, but you left before I got here!”

“Yes, punching.” Adora did not want to talk.

But this was Bow. He moved a little into her line of sight and looked at her quizzically. “C’mon Adora… What’s wrong?”

“Nothing! I didn’t say anything was wrong!”

“But something’s bothering you. I can tell.” His tone, as always, was light, almost teasing. He genuinely believed that anything could be talked about, worked out, solved. But there was no way he could help her with this.

“It’s nothing, Bow. I just need to focus on my training right now.”

“Sure. After we won the war.” He rolled his eyes.

Adora turned away from him, exasperated. “I don’t even know where to start.”

“I saw Catra heading up to the roof earlier, if that has anything to do with it. Are you two fighting?”

“No! We’re… we’re fine. We’re good.”

“So you’re down here punching sandbags and Catra is pouting on the roof because everything is fine?”

“Yes, Bow. Everything is fine. Just… fine.”

“But not awesome?”

Adora could tell that she wasn’t going to get out of this without either knocking Bow out, running away, or confessing everything. For a moment she weighed her options, then she surrendered. She walked across the training ground courtyard to a small bench near an ornate fountain. Sometimes she wondered about Bright Moon, she really did. This training area alone had more ornamentation than the entire Fright Zone.

Bow followed and settled on the bench, adjusting his quiver slightly higher on his back.

“One thing. You _cannot_ tell Glimmer about any of this.”

Bow looked surprised, “Of course I won’t! But, Adora, we’re your friends…”

She stopped him.”This isn’t,” she could feel herself blushing. Her scalp started to itch. “A _friend_ kind of problem, Bow.”

Bow looked at her for a long moment. Then she saw realization dawn in his eyes just before he said “Ohhhh… this is about sex!”

“Bow!”

“Adora, I have twelve older brothers. I grew up in a _Library_. I haven’t been embarrassed about sex since I was five.”

“Well… well, what about you and Glimmer?”

“Us? Oh, we’re waiting.”

“Waiting? For what?”

“A lot of things. For her Dad to realize that she’s almost an adult, for the right time to announce me as her consort, just to make sure it’s what we really want…” He gestured vaguely. “Just, everything.”

Adora looked at her friend in disbelief. This was something you could… not do? That did not seem possible. She wasn’t exactly sure what she wanted to do with Catra, but whatever it was, she had wanted to do it for a very long time, she had no doubt that she wanted to do it, and she wanted to do it soon. She shifted uncomfortably and looked away from Bow’s earnest face.

“Should Catra and I not be… I mean, do people think… do you think…”

“Adora! You and Catra are different people, that’s all. You’re both older than me and Glimmer, too.”

“Oh. Well. Good, good.”

“It’s no one’s business anyway.”

“Good.”

“I still don’t know what the problem is, though.”

“Oh, well,” She was blushing again. How could she be blushing again? And Bow, who grew up in a library, not in the brutal training grounds of the Horde, was just sitting at ease as if talking about this were the most natural thing in the world. Bow, she thought, who grew up in a library. Which meant that…

Suddenly she was on her feet, flush gone, feeling a rush of optimism. _I grew up in a library..._ “Bow! Are there _books_ about this?”

He looked startled. “Of course! There are books about everything!”

“In the Library? Where you grew up?”

“Ye-es.”

“Let’s go.”

Adora was feeling too good to acknowledge his weak protest. If there were books, she could figure this out. She could make a battle plan.

* * *

Catra leapt lightly onto the balcony of Adora’s room, followed by Melog. Adora would have bathed and gone to breakfast by now, she was nothing if not consistent. Same old Adora, locked into her routine. She loved that about Adora. Adora was dependable. Again.

Melog’s hackles rose slightly as they picked up on the fear under that thought, the thought that an Adora who abandoned her once might abandon her again. She scratched between their shoulders, taking deep breaths. That was not a healthy thought. Adora loved her. She loved Adora. It was all going to be okay.

If she could figure out _how_ to love Adora. She smirked. She was _going_ to figure that out. Adora was never going to see it coming. Melog purred as they followed her out of the room. She needed to find Glimmer. Catra knew where she would be, and if Catra knew Sparkles she would take almost any opportunity _not_ to be there.

* * *

“Hey. Sparkles! Don’t look!”

Catra was crouched on a narrow ledge behind the throne of Bright Moon. These people really had no idea about strategy or defense or _anything._ It had been so easy just to walk to the back of the castle, jump out a window, and then one or two quick leaps and here she was, right behind the throne. She smirked, then felt a pang of annoyance. She couldn’t _believe_ she had been _losing_ to these idiots. She had overestimated them, that was the problem.

“Catra?” Glimmer said, hardly moving her head at all. Sparkles had a good head on her shoulders.

“Yeah. Look, I need to talk to you. Can you meet me outside?”

“Catra!”

“C’mon. It’s important.”

Glimmer nodded almost imperceptibly. 

Good. Catra knew it would be easy.

* * *

Like everything in Bright Moon, the throne room terrace was luxurious. Catra couldn’t remember ever seeing so much controlled vegetation in one place as she had in this castle. It was everywhere. She supposed it was pretty. She leapt down from the wall and landed next to a hedge, shocking the guard by the door who lowered her spear momentarily before resetting it.

 _That’s right,_ Catra thought. _I’m with Adora. You don’t dare._ The thought was equal parts joyful, vindictive, sad, and angry. Would she ever get out from Adora’s shadow? Did she even want to?

 _Stop please?_ Melog asked. _It’s very tiring._

“Sorry, Melog.” She sat down on the grass and let the big cat snuggle. They were right, she should be more careful about those old thoughts. It was just hard, having no place in the world anymore that didn’t depend on Adora. She’d have to find one. Maybe one that didn’t involve, you know, destroying the universe.

She heard two… chimes? Sparkly twinkle sounds? Whatever, close together. One near the entrance to the terrace, one right behind her. That would be Sparkles, orienting on her and then teleporting again. “I don’t know why you feel like you have to sneak up on me.” Glimmer complained.

“Because it’s so easy, Sparkles.” Catra spoke without turning, keeping her voice steady. She was not going to be caught crying in front of Glimmer.

Glimmer rolled her eyes. “What do you want, Catra?”

“I need a lift to… to see Spinnerella. And Netossa, I guess”

Glimmer raised an eyebrow. “Really? Why do you need to see them?”

“I just do, okay? It’s none of your business.”

“Oh. Well then, no.”

Catra tried glaring at the diminutive girl. Melog walked over and rubbed their face against Glimmer’s thigh. Stupid cat.

“I’m waiting.”

“Fine,” Catra snapped. “No… fine. Okay. I just need some advice, that’s all.”

“ _You_ need _advice?”_

“Yes, okay? I need to talk to her about… about sleepovers.” Catra was appalled. _Sleepovers? I did not just say that, did I?_ Her cheeks burned in furious embarrassment.

“Sleepovers! Oh, _Catra!_ ” Glimmer dissolved into laughter. “Sleepovers! Oh, wait until I tell Bow!”

“Don’t. You. Dare.”

“No promises. But of course I’ll take you. Anything to get out being Queen for a while.” She giggled. “Sleepovers. You’re so _cute_ when you’re embarrassed.”

“I am not cute!”

“You know, I can teach you how to pillow fight.”

“Watch it, Sparkles. Just… watch it.”

"C'mon, Horde scum. I'll take you to Spinnarella. She can teach you how to braid hair."

"Glimmer!"

* * *

Netossa and Spinnarella lived in… a castle. Of course. They were princesses. They had guards and a kingdom, because of course they did. They were princesses.

It wasn’t as pretentious as Bright Moon, though. When Glimmer, Catra, and Melog arrived they were shown to a sort of interior outdoor room that the guard called a “garden”, which Catra supposed was just more controlled vegetation. This garden didn’t look like what she supposed were “gardens” around Bright Moon, which were mostly big and covered in grass and square bushes. This garden was inside, but didn’t have a roof, and it was round, and a little smaller than the War Room at Bright Moon, which was where Catra had last seen Spinnarella and Netossa.

The way they had stood and sat together, the way they were with each other… it was comfortable. Intimate. Loving.

The way things with Adora had been before… well, before the kiss, and Catra’s dumb confession. Yes, the confession _had_ saved the universe or whatever, she guessed, and Adora said that it saved her too. As far as Catra was concerned, those were the same thing. Adora _was_ Catra’s universe. She shivered, remembering the feeling of Adora dying in her arms, being helpless, again. Melog rubbed against her leg, knocking her a bit off balance on the uneven path and breaking her reverie.

The guard that brought them here led them through the arched doorway into the garden, down a wooden path between flower beds, and across a ridiculously tiny bridge that went over–Hey! Were there _fish_ in the weird little stream that ran through the room–to a seating area in the center of the garden.

“Please make yourselves comfortable,” the guard said, gesturing at the collection of small couches surrounding a low table. “The princesses will be with you in a moment.”

Catra couldn’t help but snicker at the way the guard said “princesses”, with all the emphasis in the middle. _PrinCESSes!_ How could anyone take these people seriously. How had she ever been losing to these losers?

Catra ignored the couches, and Glimmer, and prowled around the little area with Melog. Yes, there were _definitely_ fish in the little stream that ran through the room, and there was even a little pond where they could be easily fished out by an enterprising cat. She was a little sad to disappoint Melog when they suggested it. She supposed it wouldn’t be very _proper_ to feed one of the _prinCESSes’_ stupid orange fish to Melog.

 _Then why are they there?_ Melog asked.

“Your guess is as good as mine, Melog.”

Catra stalked around the seating area, Melog shrinking down so he could look under chairs. 

“Catra, will you please sit down?” Glimmer finally complained. “You’re driving me crazy!”

A young woman, a pretty one, Catra noticed, in uniform entered the garden from another door, bringing a tray with tea cups and a teapot. Two cups. Following her were Netossa and Spinnarella. Spinnarella wasn’t wearing the usual battle clothes Catra had seen her in before, rather she was wearing loose, comfortable pants in her signature purple and a darker purple blouse with red sleeves. The blouse was loose and even showed a tiny bit of her ample cleavage beneath the wide, almost armor like grey choker with the blue gemstone that she always wore. She looked relaxed and happy. Her long auburn hair was released from its normal ponytail bun and simply hanging loose. Netosssa looked like she always did, even when the woman _wasn’t_ wearing armor, and she wasn’t, she looked like she was wearing armor. The shorter woman moved almost as gracefully just walking as Adora did in a fight, her brown eyes constantly on the move. It was funny, though… every time those eyes fell on the woman next to her, Netossa’s sharp face would relax and she would get a goofy smile for just a split second. _What an idiot_ , Catra thought.

Glimmer, of course, teleported over to the two women and flung herself into their arms enthusiastically. “Nettie! Spinnie! So good to see you two!”

“Easy, girl”, Netossa said. “You just saw us a few days ago!”

Glimmer snorted, “Like anyone actually got to talk to you two after the battle!”

The… servant? Soldier? Whatever, put the tray down on the small table and departed. Netossa and Glimmer, still talking, walked out after her. Leaving Catra with Spinnerella and no idea how to ask what she had traveled halfway around the world to ask.

Spinnerella poured a cup of tea for Catra and gestured to a chair before taking a cup of tea and a chair for herself. She looked especially calm and beautiful, unapproachable and distant. Catra took the tea, which smelled awful, and sat. Melog continued to slink and prowl around the area. Catra realized that she had taken the time of a princess, the ruler of a kingdom, someone she had fought against for years, and all to ask her about… sex. The blush started on the tips of her ears, she could feel it. She laid them flat against her head self-consciously, so that the flaming red interior wouldn’t betray how uncomfortable she was. _Yeah, dummy,_ she thought, _and looking like you’re ready to scratch someone's eyes out doesn’t make you look embarrassed at all._ She tried to relax. She was here. She was desperate. 

Spinnerella, when Catra looked back at her, had the biggest smile on her face. “I win,” the Princess stated flatly. “I _told_ Nettie that you would be the one to think of us. _She_ thought it would be Adora.” She laughed. Spinnerella had a nice laugh, kind and big and easy to join with.

“Adora?” Catra snickered. “Adora would _die_ before she discussed…” huge breath, “our… personal stuff with anyone.” She hated the way her voice squeaked on _personal_ , like she was a child. “Why did you… why did you think one of us would show up?”

“It’s the way Adora would watch us when she thought we weren’t looking. Like she’d never seen affection before, or love. Like she was trying to figure us out. And then how she watched you when you joined us, how you watched her.” The older woman shrugged. “It was just obvious. You two have been together since you were children. But you’ve never been together, have you?”

Catra was going to die. She was literally going to curl up into a tiny ball and disappear and die. She thought back to all the other cadets, bragging about their barracks adventures. All the other barracks. But not her barracks. No one _ever_ tried to touch Catra, or Adora. Shadow Weaver saw to that. Or maybe she was just ugly and worthless and no one would ever want her. Maybe _Adora_ didn’t really want her, and that’s why last night had been so awkward. Adora didn’t want her, didn’t _want_ her…

The gentle pressure on her knee was Melog, mewing gently. Catra breathed. She actually tried counting, the way Perfuma had suggested she should.

“The… way she watched me?” She finally asked, huskily.

“Like a starving woman who had never seen food before, sweetheart. Like you were the only other person in the world.”

“Then… why… okay. This is embarrassing. But you and Netossa, you’ve been… together a while, and Adora… I… we don’t have… it was just so _awkward_ . I don’t know what I’m doing. We weren’t… we weren’t _trained_ for this!” 

Catra heard what she just said and couldn’t help laughing at herself. _Weren’t trained for it?! Seriously!_

It was true, anyway. They weren’t. They were trained to kill Princesses. They were trained to be weapons. They were both very good at that. Everything else they ever had together they had to build themselves.

Spinnerella was laughing a little too. “Awkward? I’ll bet it was!” She looked serious. “Everyone’s first time is awkward, Catra. Do you love her?”

For a moment, Catra felt defensive, ready to pounce on this lavender-clad… _tea drinker…_ for even suggesting such a thing. Her feelings were _private._ Melog nipped at her hand, reminding her, _This is why we’re here._

She looked away. “I’ve never loved anything or anyone else,” She admitted quietly. “So how do I… make her… happy?” And that damn squeak was back.

“I don’t know. You’ll have to figure that out. Catra… the hardest thing is patience. Care. You _will_ figure each other out, but you have to be patient, and kind, and use your imagination, and be open and vulnerable. All things that I know frighten you. If you slow down, listen to your body, and listen to _each other_ , you’ll figure it out.”

“That isn’t very specific.”

“Is Adora a machine? Does she just… do what she’s supposed to?”

“Well, no.”

“Then that is as specific as I can be, Catra.” Spinnerella smiled impishly, “Besides, if I give you a map, you’ll miss all the fun of exploring. Now… drink your tea. Tell me what else is happening in Bright Moon?”

* * *

Adora was learning _so_ much. The Library was _amazing_ . The number of things that people did with bodies was genuinely shocking, and she hadn’t gotten through half the books that Bow had brought her before he managed to escape. For all his talk of not being embarrassed, he sure didn’t seem enthusiastic about this project. It was too bad, there was a _lot_ of material and she could have used his help.

She was mapping out a plan. According to the books, this whole thing should take from thirty minutes to two hours. They would probably want to get some sleep and Bright Moon woke up early, so she settled on an hour and 15 minutes. Of that… she checked her notes again… 20 minutes should be spent actually undressing Catra, which would be done in three stages. No, four stages… well, it depended on what she was wearing. Each stage was broken into three phases, touching, then touching plus kissing, then touching, kissing, and garment removal. Great. Now… she looked with satisfaction at the bookmarked sections of all of the books. What next?

Two hours later, Lance and George brought her lunch. Adora was still taking notes. There was so much she hadn’t considered. She checked her decision tree… had she covered everything? She didn’t want to miss anything that Catra might like, although _some_ things didn’t look like anything anyone would like and she didn’t have the materials anyway.

She did have the sword… it could transform into different things… 

_Focus, Adora._ She told herself sternly. This was just one single action, after all. Practically a scouting mission. She could return to the library and plan the longer campaign when she had more information. She made some more notes… the books were unfortunately short of the kind of specific details that she needed, but she felt like she had a good plan for… what was the word? _Cunnilingus?_ She wasn’t sure about that, but apparently it was very pleasurable if done right so she was definitely going to do it and so she needed a plan for how. She could make flashcards! She had a sudden thought that maybe Catra could do it, too… she’d have to be gentle because her tongue was so rough but Catra _could_ be gentle when she wanted to. Maybe she would purr while she did it? Or while Adora did?

 _Move ON, Adora! No daydreaming!_ The next book she checked had a whole chapter on things she could do to _herself._ She sat stunned for a moment. How had this never occurred to her before? True, she was almost never alone and had spent the last three years in a state of almost constant panic, and then before that she had shared a barracks with _Kyle_ , and of course Shadow Weaver watched her every move every day of her life in the Horde and… she wondered if Catra knew about this. Probably she did.

She absentmindedly finished her second sandwich and turned the page. There was a _very_ detailed drawing and some _very_ specific directions. Adora glanced down speculatively. _I’ve always believed in the value of practice…_

Focus. That was not part of the mission. Besides, Lance or George or Bow could walk in at any minute.

* * *

Dinner had been weird, with Glimmer shooting knowing looks at Bow and Bow shooting knowing looks at Glimmer and Adora just staring at her plate and eating like a machine. _After_ dinner had been worse. Bow wanted to play some game that involved a lot of puns, Glimmer wanted Bow to play the lute, Adora apparently wanted to stare at the wall with her fists clenched, and Catra just wanted to climb out the window and pretend she was somewhere else, where it was just her and Adora.

Now, they were here. Tense. Catra sat cross legged in the window of Adora’s room, past the bed, staring out. Melog, in their smallest cat form, sat in her lap, purring uncertainly. She had no idea how long Melog had lived, how long they had been alone, but she got the feeling it was a long time, maybe hundreds of years. “I think I might need some privacy tonight, okay?” she asked, scratching their chin.

Melog bit her hand, but it was just a gentle nip. Then they were gone, scaling the castle wall easily. She wished everyone could understand her like Melog. Or possibly not. Definitely not. She had feelings that maybe everybody didn’t need to know about.

Absently, she licked her wrists and cleaned her ears. It was a childhood habit she had tried to break, but grooming always made her feel better. It was just that… well, the other kids had teased her and Shadow Weaver... _Let’s not think about that, okay?_

Okay.

Adora was being so weird today. She arrived late for dinner, she barely spoke to Catra all evening, but when Catra said that she was tired, Adora had _jumped_ out of her chair like a cadet called to attention and followed her immediately. So weird. Catra scratched the stonework to distract herself, leaving deep grooves in the sill. Behind her, Adora was taking a bath before bed, which was a little unusual. She didn’t usually. Weird. She was being weird. Was it because of last night? Had Adora realized this was all a mistake, that she didn’t really want Catra after all? Was she… 

Small bits of crumbled stone continued to rain into the moat below as Catra fretted.

Adora climbed out of the bath and grabbed a towel. She stared at Catra’s back. Catra was grooming, which she only did when she was feeling unhappy or lonely. Why would she be unhappy or lonely? Was it because she didn’t want to be here? Or at least not here with Adora?

A thought that Adora hadn’t really allowed before struck her. Maybe Catra would rather be with someone else. Like… well, like Scorpia. They had been together for a long time in the Fright Zone. And it was obvious that Scorpia really liked Catra. A lot. Maybe more than just liked. 

Adora wasn’t used to feeling jealous. She had never _not_ been told that she was important, never had to worry about anything but meeting people’s endless expectations. She had never not been first with Catra, not even when Catra was trying to kill her. Catra had literally tried to destroy the world for her, and while that wasn’t a _good_ thing, it did mean that Catra thought she was important.

But now… she watched Catra scratching the castle apart. She was so tense. Adora suddenly realized that maybe… maybe Catra had done this before, with Scorpia. Maybe Scorpia had known what she was doing, and now Catra was realizing that Adora was just a big clumsy dork who couldn’t do this right, and she was trying to figure out how to tell Adora. That didn’t sound like Catra, but Catra was trying to be more considerate, so maybe she was thinking exactly that. _Well,_ she thought, _I’m just going to have to prove her wrong._

She had put her hair up in a bun to keep it dry, now she let it down and put on a light, short robe that showed her legs. She had definitely caught Catra staring at her legs, so that was good. She walked to the wall panel and set the lights so that they would slowly fade out. Catra caught the change and turned her head.

“Hey Catra.”

When the lights in the room dimmed behind her, Catra turned. Adora was standing near the wall, facing her. She was wearing a flimsy robe and nothing else. Catra felt a clench that ran from her jaw to her loins and almost lost her balance. Adora was just so perfect. So fully perfect, every part of her. The robe was short, revealing Adora’s long, smoothly muscled legs, and open at the top, showing her broad shoulders and just a hint of her gently rounded breasts. She exercised every ounce of self control she had to stop from just leaping across the intervening space and tearing that robe off her body. A strangled mew caught in her throat.

“Hey Catra.”

Catra blinked. That didn’t sound like Adora being Adora. That was Adora being… what? Trying to entice her? Like maybe acting a little. It sounded forced. Adora was having to _try_ to be with her. She turned to stare out the window so Adora wouldn’t see the tears in her eyes.

For a moment, Adora thought her idea had worked. Catra had definitely noticed her, but now she had her back turned, and Adora was at a loss. She had a plan. Unfortunately, the plan involved Catra being in the bed, not the window. She wasn’t sure how to deal with this new situation. She hadn’t planned for it. She would have to improvise a way to get Catra where Catra needed to be for the plan. So… she walked to the bed, towards Catra, and sat on the edge, facing away from the window.

“Catra? Do you want to come to bed?”

Catra shrugged. Adora wanted to touch her, to comfort her, but she had learned from painful experience how to read Catra, and Catra did not want to be touched right now. Adora could see it in how the hair along her spine was slightly puffed, how her tail twitched, the set of her ears. Adora sighed. The lights were fading out now, leaving them mostly in the dark. Etheria’s ever present moonlight still streamed in through the window.

And at that moment, the thought of losing Catra again hits Adora like a shock rod to the stomach. She gasps in pain, wrapping her arms around her stomach. A whisper escapes her involuntarily, just the one word, “Catra.”

Catra hears the whisper, picks up on the pain. Her friend hurts, and Catra turns to her. “Adora?”

Their eyes meet, and Catra doesn’t see Adora trying to do anything. She sees Adora suddenly smile, that huge, dopey, hopeful grin, and her pale blue eyes are an open invitation. Catra, laughs and simply falls backwards into her. Of course Adora will catch her. The only times that Adora hasn’t caught her have been the times she was too afraid to jump.

Adora does see Catra shift her weight and tumble backwards, she reaches out and effortlessly catches the smaller woman in her arms, slipping an arm under her legs and swinging her onto her lap. Catra snuggles under Adora’s chin, resting in her lap with one arm around her and the other kneading at her shoulder gently. Catra’s claws are incredibly sharp, and this hurts, but Adora is getting used to being lightly mauled by her… friend? Catra’s lips brush against Adora’s neck and just like last night, that tiny touch reverberates to her toes. There’s an ache deep in her abdomen and she would be surprised if she were not literally glowing with the heat in her body. She nudges with her chin to tip Catra’s head back and leans in to kiss her. Even as she does, a small part of her sits back and starts counting. After all, she has a plan.

It wouldn’t be true to say that Catra has dreamed of this moment because as much as she has yearned for Adora over the years, she has never dared to dream. Adora’s arms are sure and steady as she maneuvers Catra out of her lap and onto the bed. Her blonde hair falls around Catra’s face. Adora effortlessly holds herself above her and her lips are eager and soft. Catra feels a slow heat building inside her, not the flame of last night but something different, surer and more comforting. 

Things are going according to Adora’s plan now, and she’s pleased. On her mental checklist, the next move is to remove Catra’s shirt, and this should take a few minutes. The attack on quadrant one will start with kissing, which will progress from Catra’s chin, to her sensitive ears, and down her neck. Adora knows the spots where the fur is thinnest, the places where Catra has always been sensitive or ticklish. It strikes her that she knows so much, and yet so little, about this amazing woman, but she pushes the thought away and concentrates, counting kisses, moving through the pattern that she built in the library.

Catra can tell something is off. She flicks an ear as Adora nips it, she’s not sure she likes the feeling but Adora doesn’t seem to notice. Adora isn’t responding to Catra, who is trying to move into a more comfortable position. She wants to lock her legs around Adora’s strong thigh, but Adora doesn’t seem to be getting the hint. Then Catra notices that Adora has fallen into a rhythm, a familiar pattern. Like training. Like when she would map a training room, decide how to attack it, and then go through the moves without thinking at all. Adora is fighting. She’s counting. Catra pushes her up and away from her. Adora is larger and stronger but Catra has the leverage, so she gets Adora’s weight off of her.

Adora has moved into what she thinks of as the second quadrant when Catra suddenly goes still and pushes her up. Her mismatched eyes meet Adora’s.

“Are you _counting,”_ Catra asks, her voice cold with disbelief.

Adora doesn’t answer, but she can tell by how Catra’s eyes narrow that she doesn’t have to, her expression has given Catra the answer she needs and with one fluid movement the lithe, muscular body slips out from beneath her. 

Catra easily levers herself out of the bed, curling her body and then pivoting on one arm to push herself back to face Adora. She doesn’t want to fight but she is angry. With an effort of will she retracts her claws, but nothing will keep her ears up, so Adora is going to see that she’s mad. The dopey grin is gone from Adora’s face, replaced with surprise and hurt.

“Did you make a _plan_ ? Like this is a battle you have to get through, like I’m some kind of _obligation?_ ” It hurts so much to think about. Adora really doesn’t want her. She’s just here because she feels obligated, because she said she did and dumb Adora is too stubborn to admit that she made a mistake. Catra turns to run, to just jump out the window and follow Melog to the rooftops, to some place that Adora can’t find her.

Adora sees Catra turn, knows that she’s going to run again, leave again, so she does the only thing she can think of to get her to stay, which is to start a fight. “At least I tried _something!_ I’m sorry if I’m not as experienced as you, but at least I’m trying, Catra!”

Catra looks at her incredulously, taken off guard by this attack. “What are you even talking about?”

“I’ve never _done_ this before. And you spent all that time in the Fright Zone with Scorpia, and I know she really likes you, and…”

Catra’s eyes widen and her ears lift from her skull. Adora can’t read her expression, but she’s pretty sure that her worst fears have been realized. Catra doesn’t want to be here. She thinks Adora is hopeless. Why wouldn’t she? Adora spent so much time just fighting her feelings, putting everything in the world before Catra, how could Catra still really want to be with her?

Catra stands stunned for a moment. _Scorpia?_ Catra has now kissed Adora about a million times more than the one kiss she shared with Scorpia in the Crimson Waste. She knew that kiss was a mistake as soon as it happened. It hadn’t been bad, but all she had been able to think about after was Adora, and how Scorpia wasn’t her. How could anyone be so stupid?

She bursts out laughing and sits on the floor. “Scorpia? Really, Adora? You really are an idiot, you know that?” 

Adora looks away. “She’s big and buff and I’ve seen how she looks at you…”

“And have you ever seen _me_ look at _her_ , dummy?”

Adora thinks. Now that she considers it, no. No, she hasn’t. “No,” she admits.

She can’t look at Catra, but she can see her feet as she stands and walks soundlessly across the floor. A claw presses under her jaw, so she has to move her head to look at Catra’s familiar, beautiful face. “No.” says Catra. “Do you know why?”

“No.”

“Because I’m only looking at you. I’ve always only wanted you,” Catra sounds strangely confident, almost smug. “Where were you all day?”

“I went to the library.”

Catra laughs at this too, which is annoying, but it lightens Adora’s heart. Her blush is only partly from embarrassment.

“I had to do something! Last night was so awkward! And you were gone when I got back from my workout this morning, and I wanted to be... prepared.”

Catra tries to focus. It makes sense. Really, she should have seen this coming. Of course Adora wanted to be prepared, of course Adora made a plan. Adora always makes a plan. Adora never relaxes, she always tries to prepare for everything. It’s one of her weaknesses, and Catra has exploited that weakness more times than she can count.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you what I was doing. I wanted it to be a surprise.”

“So, just to make sure I understand, you spent all day in the library doing research and coming up with a plan because you thought I would leave you for Scorpia if you didn’t?”

“No! Maybe… I just… wanted to make you happy.”

Something about this is still bothering Catra. It’s probably what Spinneralla said, something about Adora not being a machine, not just following instructions. It’s annoying that Adora thought she could map this out like a campaign. It’s endearing and goofy, but also sort of insulting.

“Did you really think that would work? Like… I’m some… piece of territory to be taken?”

 _That is so like Catra_ , Adora thinks. _No matter what I do, it’s never enough._ “Someone had to do something, Catra! One of us had to step up and.. and… figure this out! One of us had to do some work! What were _you_ doing all day, besides sulking on the roof?”

“What was _I_ doing? I was getting advice from Spinerella! I had to get Sparkles to take me halfway around the stupid world and… and drink tea!”

“Wait, what?” Adora isn’t sure she heard correctly. Catra doesn’t take advice. Catra would rather be boiled alive than ask Glimmer, of all people, for help. “You went… you had Glimmer… advice about what?”

“What do you think, Adora? After all, someone had to do something!” Catra has her back turned to Adora now. Adora can see the flush in the tips of her ears and the agitation in the twitching of her tail, but she might be approachable if Adora is very, very careful. She rises from the bed and slowly walks towards Catra, speaking quietly.

Catra hears Adora get up and move towards her. She’s angry and humiliated. She didn’t want Adora to think that she was weak, that she couldn’t figure out anything on her own. Adora’s voice is low and calm, though. Soothing. 

“I’m so proud of you Catra. I didn’t know. I’m sorry. I know that was hard.” 

Adora’s hand touches her arm gently. When Catra doesn’t move away, Adora takes her hand. 

“I love you, Catra. I’m just new at this. I’m afraid of losing you again.”

“You’re not going to lose me, dummy.”

“What… what did Spinerrella say, anyway?”

“She said we’ll figure it out. If we’re patient and honest.”

“I guess we aren’t doing that.”

“We don’t have much practice.”

The two women face each other, smiling, foreheads touching.

“I really did learn an awful lot in the library, you know.”

“Really?”

Adora nods, biting her lip. It’s infuriatingly attractive.

“Do you want to… show me what you learned? Slowly?”

Adora grins, her cocky attitude starting to come back. “How slowly?”

“No counting, idiot.”

“No counting.”

Adora kisses her and Catra lets herself melt into Adora’s embrace.

It is a long night. They are patient. They are honest. And Adora _did_ learn an awful lot in the library.

**Author's Note:**

> Special, heart-shaped, world-sized thanks to [@ratqueensjester](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ratqueensjester) for beta reading. Y'all have NO IDEA how lucky you are not to have just read the first draft.
> 
> I love these characters, they've impacted me in unexpectedly powerful ways and I'm grateful for them. I hope I did them justice.
> 
> (Adora did want an obstacle course, but I had to draw the line somewhere.)


End file.
